Frankie's Louisiana Update (11.19.2017)

Recently, I've been involved in a situation that's been affecting me financially, emotionally & professionally. Last year, on December 15, in honor of their son's birthday, I produced a track for a not-so-known underground artist. I love this artist so much & feel like they're really talented, but need tha motivation to continue lovin' life. I felt like they needed to make a comeback & I felt that I had tha power to make that happen.

I finally got a hold of them & sent them tha track on February 13. However, they weren't near a studio & kept putting tha track off. At times, I kept helpin' them out 'cause I wanted to believe in them bein' happy & motivated to rap on my track, which was only a minute, 39 seconds long (99 seconds!). Eight months later, on October 13, I finally met them in person in Baton Rouge, LA. I put a lotta money & effort into traveling & wanting to complete my goals, including getting tha dude to rap an intro & one verse on tha track. As they put it off on October 14 & 15, they told me, "If you wanna wake up fresh & get it over with, you'd go to sleep & we'd get tha track done tha next day, before I fly back to PA."

Tha next day, on October 16, I didn't realize they were working tha whole day & they were a no-call/no-show. So, me being upset, I showed my emotions & asked for help. There, I encountered one of their producers, had a 15-minute talk with them & they said they would help me complete my goal of gettin' tha artist to get tha track done.

Over tha past month, tha idea of my track wound up turning into an upcoming CD getting done & my beat getting enhanced with a feature from producer/rapper, DJ B-Real; my two favorite artists on tha same track! Here, I helped pay for studio time, "enhancements," two features, an album photoshoot, photography, gas money, a T-Shirt promotion, a new hard drive, a file transfer, a mic, a mixer & even more "enhancements" to get my track done; I became tha label's "movement." I kept tellin' dude that he was gettin' my hopes up & he wanted me to believe it. DJ B-Real had finally unblocked/reconnected with me after 3 1/2 years during this time, too. I felt like I had everything I ever wanted!

However, doom started striking. A week into tha "project," I had asked for some pics/footage of some of tha studio sessions. As I was promised I was going to get something, I kept checking my email...; nothing! All of a sudden, I was losing interest in listening to music (including self-medicating), going out, havin' anxiety attacks & feelin' really upset. As I felt like this was insecure & more money/situations kept occurring, I reached out to tha artist themselves to see what was up... As I was told that tha artist was workin' on writin'/recordin' their verse to tha track, I had asked tha artist to confirm details with me. Here, they told me they neva knew tha track was enhanced, nor did they know B-Real was gonna be on it; they only had tha original beat I made. Tha dude originally told me not to get a hold of tha artist 'cause they didn't wanna "piss them off," or "lose their motivation."

I then let two weeks go by to see what was gonna happen... It lead into a lil' more money & still, no proof of nothin'. As I wasn't correctly gettin' what I paid for, I started to have anxiety attacks. At work, tha insides of my chest would punch my stomach, constantly. People would see that somethin' was wrong & I couldn't control tha anxiety... People would also tell me to stay on tha peoples' backs till I got what I wanted. Here, they'd give me tha excuse of a job & their kids was preventing them from gettin' to focus on my shit. Meanwhile, they said I was tha "movement" & tha "top priority." I work six dayz a week & still support my "top priority" (tha artist), I still answer people & when I'm not upset, I consistently put out/work on videos/projects & more.

November 17 had marked six years since tha first time I was robbed in another situation, so I was already feeling weird... Yesterday, they had said they were on tha phone with tha artist, talkin' to them to meet up. I had got a hold of tha artist to double-check to see if they were talkin' and what did they say? "No, they never called me;" really?! Lying about talking to them? This shit's THAT low?! They finally cut me off today when I confronted them about tha lie & told them not to include their kids in our business relationship. In tha work field, personal & business relationships don't mix. He felt disrespected that I talked down on his kids & that he doesn't wanna speak to me again. He's agreed to pay me back all tha money that went into tha project but will I see it? Who knows... He even said he was gonna keep my "enhanced track," whether it exists or not, if I ask for tha money back. Needless to say, all I really wanted was for tha artist to just rap on MY track; that's it!

This whole situation puts me at a crossroad... I honestly wanna give up promoting tha whole underground, Louisiana rap scene & try to move on to somethin' else... Tha scene ain't tha same as it was 10 years ago, when I first became fascinated with it. All tha underground artists I love have their kids as their distraction and have lost touch with tha passion of creating their music. Everyone wants to sound mainstream & ask for money for features (when, in my opinion, collaborations should be based off of a good bond).

Over tha past 10 years, not once have I missed a month of posting something on my blog about Louisiana! It will break my heart forever if I give it up & move on... Louisiana has changed my life but now, in 2017, I just feel like everything's all complicated. I don't know where my life iz headed next but I really need to regroup... I'm going to go see a doctor/seek help & see where my future takes me from here... I will still do video things & music-related things. I will still try and complete everything I've been behind in over tha past eight years, like I promised. But now, at this time, I must take care of myself!!